Relationship

HOW YOU DEAL WITH A BREAKUP. . .THE CONTINUATION.

Continued.

4. The I’ll-Show-You Strategy

So your partner left you for someone more beautiful, handsome, wealthy, brilliant or curvaceous and your self-esteem has taken a huge hit. Even if they gave some other reason as why they wanted to break up with you, you know they did because you weren’t good enough for them and it hurts.

Nobody deserves to be made to feel inadequate. You watch yourself sink deeper into depression with each passing day and finally hit rock bottom. Then you wake up one morning and realize that that whilst you wallowed, your ex had moved on with such speed that you now think yourself foolish for believing that they ever felt anything for you.

Now you’re going to show them.

Did they leave you because you were financially dependent on them? Now you’re going to work hard and make so much money that the next time they see you, they would wish they hadn’t treated you the way they did.

Perhaps you didn’t look good enough for them. So you pursue that weight loss, fitness and skincare regime with a determination that borders on obsession.

And there’s no forgetting the wardrobe makeover either. You’re going to make sure that the next time they see you, they choke on the memory of those times that they thought you weren’t presentable enough.

And it goes on…

The truth Truth remains, that for some, a breakup can be mind-numbingly painful. Conversely, it can also be the most effective source of motivation. There are many who have been forced to finally take life-changing decisions that transformed their lives for the better – even if their reasons were originally sinister.

Interestingly, as time passes and the results of these changes begin to manifest, and their sense of self-worth continues to maintain ascendancy, they often come to see that the person for which they made these changes no longer mattered. The only thing that does, is that they are better than they were, for themselves and for whoever comes into their lives next.

This strategy reveals that when harnessed properly, the pain of a breakup might just be the push you need to force you to work on your flaws.

Who knows? A year later, you might look back on that day, see the person you have become and be glad that the breakup happened.

2. The Hell-Hath-No-Fury Strategy

So your partner had the audacity to break up with you after all that you had done for them. Did they know that you were doing them a favour by being with them? Now they have made you a laughing stock amongst your friends. Surely, they knew better than to think that they could leave you and be happy whilst you are miserable? Nobody breaks up with you. Nobody. And you are so going to make them curse that hour of the day that the foolish thought crossed their mind.
So you leak their nude photos, the sex tape, the booty-call texts at 2am, screenshots of monies that you sent them when they were hungry, screenshots of the the times they told you that they couldn’t live without you. EVERYTHING.

You dump everything on the internet. Let them swim out of that mess if they can. They actually thought you would let them be happy? The cheek.

If you can’t have them, nobody will.

This kind of person is often found to be controlling, extremely possessive, conceited, narcissistic, and vindictive. And the internet is littered with examples.

Ironically, this person does not see that the reputational damage that they incur on their person often surpasses that which they intended to inflict on their victim. And in trying to drag their former partners down, they have sunk even deeper themselves.

3. The Neuralyzer Strategy

The Neuralyzer is a device used in the Men In Black franchise to wipe a person’s memory. To those who have witnessed heartbroken friends of the family handle a breakup this way, it can be quite the spectacle.

Right after a breakup, people in this category get rid of anything remotely capable of reminding them of the relationship and their ex. Phone number, pictures, videos, memes, social media posts, gifts, texts. Everything. Gone. This is because they do not just feel pain, they also feel anger. At their ex. At themselves. And especially at the time and effort that they believe they had wasted on the relationship. The relationship is now symbolic of a time in their life that they no longer wish to be reminded of.

Unfortunately or fortunately (you choose), you can not bamboozle your way through the pain. On the off-chance that this strategy works for you, you might lose more than you stand to gain. In your haste to put everything behind you, you risk losing the opportunity to see if the relationship could still be salvaged. Most people do not truly see the value of what they had until just before it is lost or after. Who knows? Both parties may come to realize how much they want to be with each other and give the relationship one more shot shortly after breaking up.

However, in the case of an abusive relationship, this strategy is highly recommended.

Overall, people who handle breakups this way do not tarry in making decisions regardless of how tough they might be. They often take pride in their decisiveness and the bullish stubbornness with which they stick to their decisions. Sadly, this lack of flexibility often costs them nearly as much as it gains them – if not more.

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